I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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