The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
