Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
