Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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