My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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