so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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