I feel great
I just peed on a car
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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