My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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