I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
