so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
