Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
