My hand turned me down
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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