Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
