Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
