is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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