do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Someone signed my nipple.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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