Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My dick has a subreddit
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
