Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
