I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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