Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize