In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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