I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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