who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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