I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Couch. On fire.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
