I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
