I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
