Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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