I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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