i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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