I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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