party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
