I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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