Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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