I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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