He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
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I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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