why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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