That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize