I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
