I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
