Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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