THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize