I wish I could teleport
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
