Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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