i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
