i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
