I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
