If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
