i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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