I will die if light touches me.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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