put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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