he puts the penis in happiness.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm sobbing to NWA
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
