I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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