hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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