I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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