After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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