i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
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I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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