You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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