i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
