Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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